Bracing for It — Part Two

Last year’s Christmas experience had a lasting impact on me. It forced me to hit my expectations reset button. I began the long road to reset on the evening of December 25, 2017. That was when I said to the Captain that he needed to make Christmas go away. I didn’t want to see it again. Probably not rational, but I needed it to go away. So, they erased it. They took down all of the decorations, lights, cards, dishes, everything. We usually keep the decorations up until New Year’s Day, but not last year.

The next morning, the boy child also apologized to me. He blamed his sister, but I didn’t care. He, maybe for the first time, saw that I was human and that I had feelings. That apology meant more to me than he will probably ever know. Granted, I’m sure the Captain told him that he needed to, but I appreciated that he did it. I know how uncomfortable he must have felt.

Later that morning, I cautiously made my way downstairs and decided then that I needed to start taking care of myself. I needed to do this in a different way. I wasn’t sure where it would lead me or how it would manifest, but I knew I never wanted to feel the hurt I felt on Christmas ever again.

I decided that 2018 needed to be my “Year of Happiness.” 2017 was supposed to be my self- professed “Year of Joy,” but that didn’t work. I’m sure you see a pattern here.

So, I bought Gretchen Rubin’s “Happiness Project, One Sentence Journal,” where you write down one thing that makes you happy each day. I love the concept of this journal. Love it.

I made it to January 28th.

The journal sits on my bedside table and squarely looks me in the eyes each day. It’s okay. I don’t feel guilty. Just knowing that it’s there helps me stay focused on the energy it takes to be happy rather than the energy it takes to be sad.

Life continued to throw us unexpected curve balls over the spring and summer, and now I’m here again, it’s almost the middle of December.

For now the decorations are up, and they are making me happy.

Here’s to keeping them up until the Rose Bowl!

Wish me luck!